Why Your Second Ayahuasca Ceremony Was So Hard

Many people come out of their first ayahuasca ceremony feeling lighter, loved and grateful, and can hardly wait for the next one. Then the second ceremony turns out dark, confusing, even frightening, and the next morning they're left wondering what went wrong.

Since 2010 we've seen this pattern many times at our center, and on its own it doesn't mean you did anything wrong. In the healing tradition we work in, it's usually understood as the work moving from the surface to something deeper. The fear it leaves behind is understandable too, and if you decide to drink again, there are simple ways to make the next ceremony feel far less daunting.

I describe this in the section on a positive first experience followed by a difficult one in my longer guide to working with ayahuasca. This article is for anyone who has just had that second night and is wondering what happened, and whether to drink again.

You did nothing wrong

The contrast is what makes it so unsettling. After a first night of love, relief and a sense of being helped, people arrive at the second one optimistic and excited. For some, that second night becomes the most difficult or emotionally painful of their life.

The next day they may be shaken and unsure. They often ask, "What happened? I got so much healing and love last time. What am I doing wrong?" Some start to wonder whether ayahuasca was the right choice for them at all, and most are very nervous about drinking again.

My answer to "What did I do wrong?" is the same every time: you did nothing wrong. A difficult ceremony doesn't mean you made a mistake or failed at anything. It's something many of our guests go through. People in this position usually need a lot of reassurance, and if that's you, take some from the fact that we've watched this happen many, many times.

Why the second ceremony can be harder

Nobody can predict what a given ceremony will bring. Ceremonies often differ a lot from one to the next, sometimes so much you might think you'd taken another substance. So part of the answer is simply that the ayahuasca experience varies, and there's no reason to expect the second night to repeat the first.

The other part is about depth. In the healing tradition we work in, the first couple of ceremonies are usually about cleansing, and as healing happens it opens doors to parts of you that were out of reach before. I think of it as peeling an onion. A good first night can clear one layer, and the next ceremony starts work on what was underneath. Often that's something harder, frequently rooted in very early life. Within that tradition, a night like this is read as the work going deeper rather than going off track. That's an interpretation, not proof that healing is happening, and not every hard night has the same cause. Dose, physical discomfort, anxiety and the setting can all play a part. You don't need to accept the spiritual side of it for one practical point to hold: what comes up first isn't always what matters most.

Researchers have made a similar observation. The authors of the Global Ayahuasca Survey, a large self-report study of people who drink ayahuasca, note that many of its challenging effects are intrinsic to the experience, that some are considered part of its healing process, and that, as in most psychotherapeutic processes, "the therapeutic benefit may arise after having passed through various difficult processes" [1]. "May" is the important word. Difficulty can be part of healing, but it doesn't guarantee it.

Expectations play a part as well. Expectations shape the whole experience, and after a beautiful first night it's natural to arrive at the second one hoping for a repeat. When something very different shows up, that gap can make it feel even worse. Earlier research, summarised in a 2022 study of an ayahuasca-analogue ceremony for depression, found that being able to surrender to a psychedelic experience seems to go with a more positive one, while mental preoccupation goes with more challenging ones [2]. Holding on to how the last ceremony felt can easily become that kind of preoccupation.

Getting ready for your next ceremony

First, you don't have to drink again. Not taking part, sitting in on a ceremony without drinking, and drinking later once you've talked it through with the facilitators are all reasonable choices. If you do decide to drink, the simplest tool is the dose. In my experience, drinking less usually means a milder ceremony, and that's often enough to rebuild a person's confidence. It isn't a guarantee, since ceremonies are unpredictable and the intensity of the experience may vary greatly with the same amount of the same brew. Decide on the amount with your facilitators, who should know your health history and have at least one ceremony's experience working with you. A few other things help:

• Remember that everything is optional. You can sit in a ceremony without drinking, or start with a very small cup. At our center, more is offered partway through every ceremony, so starting small doesn't mean missing out.
• Move at your own pace. Don't let anyone pressure you to go faster than you're comfortable with, whether the pressure comes from an inexperienced facilitator or from yourself.
• Talk to the facilitators before the ceremony, and during it if you need support. Hearing how often this happens, and listening to others who've been through it, reassures most people.
• Come in with willingness rather than a wish list. When the medicine moves toward something difficult, try saying internally, "Okay… If this is what is necessary, I am willing. Show me."

Research points in a similar direction, though it shows associations rather than proof that any one strategy works. Earlier studies summarised in the same 2022 paper linked meditation and focusing on an intention with less intense challenging effects and higher well-being afterwards [2]. A 2024 study of challenging psychedelic experiences in general, not ayahuasca specifically, found that people who met hard moments with acceptance, or by reaching out to others for support, tended to report more emotional breakthrough, while fear-related challenges went with fewer helpful ways of coping [3].

If it gets hard again, you don't have to surrender to the whole night. Surrender one moment at a time. When your mind says "I don't want this" or "make it stop", come back to your breath and tell yourself, "I'll allow the next 30 seconds." One guest compared it to the dentist's chair: you lie back, open your mouth and let them work, not because you like it but because you know it's good for you. Surrender doesn't mean you stop caring about your safety, though. If something feels physically wrong or unsafe, or it's more than you can manage, ask a facilitator for help. That's what they're there for. For practical ways to cope in the moment, see coping with an unpleasant ayahuasca experience in our 14 Keys article.

What usually happens next

First, an honest caution. A hard ceremony isn't proof of anything, good or bad, and some reactions need more than reassurance. I look at this more closely in Difficult Ayahuasca Ceremony? Why Healing Gets Harder First. The Global Ayahuasca Survey linked drinking in unsupervised settings with more physical adverse effects, and its authors suggest that a lack of guidance and support may raise the risk of harm [1]. That's one reason to work with an experienced team and to tell them how you're doing. If you can't sleep for days afterwards, or have ongoing panic, paranoia or confusion, tell the facilitators and get a professional assessment. If you have thoughts of harming yourself, or feel seriously disconnected from reality, seek urgent medical or emergency care straight away. And if you live with depression, anxiety, trauma or take regular medication, talk with a qualified health professional before deciding whether to drink again. Individual screening matters, and some medications can interact with ayahuasca [1].

Now the encouraging part. How your next ceremony will go isn't predictable, and I won't pretend otherwise. But among people who do drink again, there's a pattern I've seen far more often than any other. They arrive at the second or third ceremony anxious and resistant, thinking "I made a mistake" or "What have I got myself into?" There's a period of struggle, and then a choice to stop fighting. Hundreds of times I've heard people say something like, "I finally surrendered, and as soon as I did, it got so much easier." For many of the people I've worked with, surrender turns out to be not only the way through, but the easier path.

Frequently asked questions

Is it normal for the second ayahuasca ceremony to be harder than the first?

It's common. At our center we've seen a wonderful first ceremony followed by a difficult second one many times since 2010. On its own it doesn't mean you did anything wrong. In the tradition we work in, it's usually understood as the work moving to something deeper.

I'm scared to drink ayahuasca again. What should I do?

Tell the facilitators how you're feeling. You don't have to drink again. If you decide to, ask about a smaller dose, which for many of our guests makes the next ceremony feel more approachable. You can also sit in without drinking.

Should I skip the next ceremony after a hard one?

That's always your choice, and not drinking again is a perfectly good one. Everything at a good retreat is optional. Some people find that sitting in, or drinking a small amount, is a comfortable middle ground.

Will my third ceremony be hard too?

No one can predict it, and each ceremony tends to be different. Among our guests, the most common report from the second or third ceremony is a period of resistance followed by a choice to surrender, after which things get much easier.

Ceremonies vary enormously, and a hard second night is one of several patterns we see. You can read about the others in what you might experience during an ayahuasca retreat, and about first-time nerves in what to do if you want the benefits but are afraid. Whatever you decide about the next ceremony, a hard second night is rarely the end of the story. With support, and at a pace you choose, many of the people I've worked with have found their confidence again, and for many the next ceremony or two is where they finally let go and find that everything gets easier.

References

1. Bouso, J. C., Andión, Ó., Sarris, J. J., et al. (2022). Adverse effects of ayahuasca: Results from the Global Ayahuasca Survey. PLOS Global Public Health, 2(11), e0000438. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pgph.0000438
2. van Oorsouw, K., Toennes, S. W., & Ramaekers, J. G. (2022). Therapeutic effect of an ayahuasca analogue in clinically depressed patients: A longitudinal observational study. Psychopharmacology, 239(6), 1839–1852. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00213-021-06046-9
3. Wood, M. J., McAlpine, R. G., & Kamboj, S. K. (2024). Strategies for resolving challenging psychedelic experiences: Insights from a mixed-methods study. Scientific Reports, 14(1), 28817. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-024-79931-w